Friends - Why I Have None...

Even if you have friends, you're here for a reason. It could be that unconsciously or consciously you know they aren't that great of friends.

This can mean 1 of 2 things

1. You are growing and realize the struggle of your past life and set your expatiations higher as you're becoming a better person (or trying to).

2. Over time you came to the realization that you still feel lonely, unwanted and uncared for and want new friends...

Obviously step 1 is a way better scenario but let's say you're in the 2nd scenario. How do I get out of this?

I got you!

Want a buddy just like this?

How to Escape:

If we are in this situation, it's likely that we don't want or have the courage to speak up and say I no longer want to be friends with you. Which is completely understandable. I am also still like that.

However, I found the best way is to seem uninterested. It may sound rude but if they cared they would take more time for you as selfish as that may sound. This can also go 1 of 2 ways

1. (Rare) They'll come up to you because they've noticed you distancing yourself and try to ask you why or try to fix things between you.

   
   

2. They won't care, won't notice, and will decide for themselves they no longer want to be friends with you.

If you truly don't like them anymore than we are shooting for 2. However, if 1happens this can mean a few things.

1. They either actually care but maybe bad at showing it and you might want to try talking to this person about how they've made you feel (may be more valuable than you think).

   
   

2. They are just curious and don't like people not liking them (relatively common)

   
   

If it's 2 you'll notice when they describe things about what had been going on, it'll be more about them and less about you.

They might say "Why are you distancing yourself from me" or something similar.

If they are genuinely curious and really want you as a friend they may say something like "Is something wrong" or " Are you okay recently, you've been a bit off".

The second may actually be worth communicating with. Help them understand you a bit more.

If you don't want to bring up the topic yet of how you feel lonely you can try trhoughout other conversations to talk about yourself subtly and a little bit about what you hate to try and get them to understand.

Try not to specialize in things only they do, it'll make them feel like you're targeting them. Try your best to be kind about it to and not go all out saying it's a "big red flag" or an "ick" or whatever.

Hopefully they'll realize and you may see a subtle change in them. See how you feel around them now.

If not than the energy consumption isn't worth it and you should go back to being uninterested.

But now how would I get new friends? These are some simple tricks to help you get what you want.

Understand Yourself

Spend more time with yourself, try to avoid consuming info and just sit quietly or play a game without headphones or listening to music.

This can help you learn what you want in a friend, what you're missing and what you lack in your own life to know what to search for.

This is a KEY first step to take.

Analyze

As creepy as this may sound, notice people's behavior. Pick up on those signs that you don't like and who you do like from a distance.

When you find someone that resonates the energy, kindness an overall friendliness, try to approach them a bit more, be kinder to them when you can but DONT overdo it.

Friendships can't be forced if they are it's likely one sided. If they don't like your back, there are millions of others you can have.

Take Your Time:

Even if you were to analyze and find someone you like and have actually been talking to them recently, remember that they likely haven't been "analyzing" you so try not to be that guy who knows everything about them when you've only "just met" or started talking.

Ask questions stay curious, listen, but again don't push them. The best thing a friend can do is respect people's boundaries and listen when needed.

So, take your time, act like you care (because hopefully you do) and try to respect them and show that you care, even in non-verbal ways.

This may be a lengthy process, but it will be worth it if you did the steps right.

Things to Note:

-Stick to one at a time, if you try to pursue too much than you'll have less time for others. Plus, you'll grow to realize one great friend is better than 5 or even 10 medium or not too close friends.

-Get to know what they like and dislike more to better help you know what to do

-BE YOURSELF, people recognize ingenuine acts more than you think so just stay genuine and be yourself. I'm sure you wouldn't want someone to e ingenuine with you.

-Build up. I say a friendship looks like an exponential graph. Start slow than once you two start to feel comfortable than it's okay to try and pursue things (and I don't mean that romantically).

-Do what you want to do. These are all just examples or scenarios if you're truly stuck. At the end of the day whether you want to believe it or not, you will get friends just by being yourself even if you haven't met those kinds of people yet.

Conclusion:

Go touch some grass.

This stuff for people who don't know